i got a new and improved journal. if ure cool enough that i would have you on my friends list then you will be able to read about my absolute amazing life,
IM me and i will consider...other than that,
fuck off.
thank you.

go see 40 year old virgin...everyone.
thats all ive got to say.

so this is probably gonna be the most sappy livejournal entry i have posted in a very long time, surprisingly. until i had my last dan hug for 3 months, it hit me. dan is leaving tomorrow. and not just dan but I am in a week and 2 days. and so is tony and irene and i wont see webber or robin. im pathetic. lets have a sob-fest and indulge in even more ice cream- but make it chunky monkey please. and even tom, im gonna see him for what a week. its so sad. i mean yeah lets smile i have a week...but dans gone. grr, i know im the over emotional piece of shit again, instead of what rob describes as the crazy grandma...oh wait i am still that just emotional crazy. i just didnt realize how hard this goodbye was gonna be, when u go and get closer it just gets worse. GODDAMN EMOTIONS ARE BRINGING ME DOWN...!
decidedly i am writting letters...making bi weekly calls and at least 2 visits to onu...its basicly the furthest from me but from there we can possibly see dan and tom ( i think at least, well just let me think that for right now).
anyways this is for all my friends...
i am going to miss you all so much this year, but hey looking forward to the drunk and loss of virginity phone calls...missing the damn good times and hugs. that basicly will sum it up for me.
and...
Hearts, stars and horseshoes!
Clovers and blue moons!
Pots of gold and rainbows!
And me red balloons!

i did a lot of thinking today...well that plus movie watching and organizing somewhat for school. i watched naploeon and was in a good mood but then i watched the prom episode of laguna beach and well its bull shit. i'm sorry but no1 goes out of there way and plan special ways to ask chicks to prom...so all that did was upset women around the world bc nothing happens even close to that in the real world. which is why california is the hot spot. i also watched a cinderella story which is another lets depress lonely people movie....reguardless i enjoyed it all the more.
i have become addicted to water. i drink like 6 bottles a day and i love it...which furthermore is another reason why i will live by the beach...water everywhere. i know that only makes sense to me but oh well.
i totally pimped out the myspace today. it blows my mind that html...wow.
i went to walmart and spent 168 dollars on school stuff. everything i could need...yet i still need more.
i want to buy another pair of jeans and sweaters. i love sweaters, i love fall and yeah.
i really need to get tickets to the foo fighters/weezer concert, but first they need to make a date around here!
i really am ready to go back to school. i swear it hits you when u venture out on a shopping spree.class will be a drag though, haha as always.
i was talking to ashley the other day and em and they pretty much have boys. that sucks. it was supposed to be the loser singles room. i swear if i get stuck alone on the weekends again well thats just gonna blow. we all know how much i hate complaining about my boy situation but its been like a month and since this is happening i think i have required the right too. all im asking for is someone to cuddle with and hang out at least,and most importantly someone to understand my crazed out mind. what is so bad about lighting up and having the world stop for just one second when u see him calling you?...yeah way to go.

im working my life away this week.
oh well...13 days until hopefully a good college year.

the past 2 nights have been wierdly fun and quite entertaining.
last night was dans b-day celebration i suppose. it started out me and webber at bob evans shoving the food in. after that some sex in the city. then i got kidnapped by hurl and heck. i thought it was room raiders bc that is not only my dream, but also i was thrown into a white similar looking van. like the hurls needed another vehicle. there was about 3 inches of armoral in the damn thing so neededless to say i was in the back of a 2 seater sliding around with a lawn chair. i was a trooper until i had to piss, we were in b-field past yankee lake and i was almost thrown out onto my front yard.
anyways, hah. then it was me dan marina tony and webber at dounkin douhnuts, all 5 of us piled into the labaron w the top down and cruised to tic-toc and dan bought his first lotto ticket and pack of horrible cigars , which we smoked in the parking lot....yah for 18 and being rebels.
then after a run in with the black cop and broken down white car ,it was a mission for better cigars and porn haha...yea thats right.
we got some minty chocolate camels and ditched the porn...who knew it was expensive, bah.
like little children... it was to the play ground to endulge in smoking...it was entertaining.
then yeah tonight...
IRENE IS HOME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!:):):):)

and we all talked about sex
we called shelby to ask her...
is the 1st time wierd?
how longs it take? and um wtf do u do after?....
no its not so akward the 1st time, anywhere from 25 mins to an hour and 45 mins and ok im going to put my clothes back on.

i thought id share that...even tho the only people reading this are the people i was with...basicly.

yeah and i love stars and cuddling. not like ive done that or anything. sigh.


thats life.

sometimes i just dont know about me.
i think i'm changing, all for the better though, so far.
today went smoothly, worked a long shift, had a fight with my car, went to grams to celebrate aunt and uncles birthdays. it was fun seeing tony dan and robin crusing in the labaron with the top down and no shrits on for a brief time. oh excuse me robin rocked out the black tie.
we ended up at dounkin dounuts as always and i always end up getting the wrong drink...bah this awesome kid hooked me up with the new tropicana coolata and it was good. wisly put as the orange drink we were served in grade school.
then 1400 people came. got to see pete henlen which was nice. hes a good kid.
i dunno, sometimes i wonder why i get the way i do around some groups of people.
its just the different way i am feeling i guess. i dont feel the need to be in center anymore. and if someone does not like being around me for whatever reason, thats fine with me. if some amends were made...which if it not being the fear of rejection (i would have already done so)....i would be okay. not great bc of the emotional state of change im going through, but i would feel so much better about, well, me. theres so many things i need to let go of, but why put myself through it, ya know? theres no logical answer yet so im just gonna keep changing, and strive for the better...the happier me for everyone.

sorry,

i'm so bored i decieded to update.
even though sru is lame, i am kinda ready to return, however fucked up of a situation that is.

i got some shit for my room. new comforter and sheets, new pillows...one of which was 7 dollars and amazing.
so basicly im excited about the stuff that i have for my room, not so much school. we are getting a sweet floor lamp dealy and some awesome lights. hopefullya rug and some new chairs.

dans home. thank god. we missed him a lot even though we are all chuds anyways.
see i want to go back to sru and i don't. we all got so close this summmer. damn im gonna miss webber irene tony dan and robin so much. and i thought about it last night, i havent hung out with suzanne enough either. but we have already talked about an amazing road trip. hah so hopefully things will work out. i plan on going to onu more than once this year. it sounds like a damn good time.

im gonna go visit nate tomorrow with webber. i guess he was in a bad car wreck and was in the hospital for 3 weeks. its needed.

i freakin miss irenas. thank go she comes home in 4 days!
i am getting a build a bear from my aunt b4 school. i cant freakin wait i want one so bad haha.


steak for dinner as always...but an added corn on the cob.

mmmm yeah life is oh so interestng.

1 Full Name: Jessica Elizabeth Catherine Conlin
2. Nicknames: Conlin, Jess, Gerbil, retard...the norms
3. Birthday: May 02, 1986
4. Place of Birth: St. Elizabeths Hospital.
5. Zodiac Sign: Tarus
6. Male or Female: Female
7. Grade: 14th
8. School: Slippery Rock University
9. Occupation: Associate of all sorts at Eckerd Drug
10. Letter: what the fuck does this mean
11. Screen Name: Only1nDreams10

__Your Appearance___
12. Hair Color: Blonde
13. Hair Length: right in between short and medium, but more on the short side.
14. Eye color: Hazel
15. Weight: 128...yeah for the freshmen weight gain
16. Height: 5'2"
17. Braces?: I did have them from like 5th grade til sophomore year. and they were a miracle haha
18. Glasses?: yeah bc i am blind at night
19. Piercings?: ears
20. Tattoos: no
21. Righty or Lefty: right

___Your 'Firsts'__
22. First best friend: WEBBER:) hahah
23. First Award: i dont know, prob the soccer one everyone gets at the end of the year haha
24. First Sport You Joined: soccer
25. First pet: some fish i would assume
26. First Real Vacation: i dont really remember it but i went to Long Beach when i was like 2
27. First Concert: Nsync...YEAH PIMP.
28. First Love: not avalable

___ Favorites___
29. Movie: Boondock Saints, charlie and the Choc. Factory
30. TV Show: sex and the city. simpsons, family guy, laguna beach, freaks and geeks
31. Color: brown
32. Rapper: ODB
33. Band: radiohead
34. Song Right Now: the shins- caring is creepy
35. Friend: the people that i am with almost everyday. love u guys, and all u sru chaps.
36. Candy: wonka bars, the real ones<-------hell yeah tony
37. Sport to Play: lacrosse i suppose
38. Restaraunt: everywhere
39. Favorite brand to wear: j crew
40. Store: TARGET IS THE SHIT
41. School Subject: anything music related and
42. Animal: anything BUT squirrels
43. Book: the lovely bones- alice saebold
44. Magazine: W
45. Shoes: cheap-o ones

___Currently___
46. Feeling: burdened
47. Single or Taken?: SINGLE!
48. Have a crush: yes:/
49. Eating: nothing for once.
50. Drinking: water
51. Typing: um duh
52. Online?: um duh
53. Listening To: the shins-
54. Thinking About: I LOVE MY FRIENDS!
55. Wanting To: see my friends...and how i dont want to work all week.
56. Watching: nothing
57. Wearing: nothing...oooooooooooooooo haha

___Your Future___
58. Want Kids?: eh
59. Want to be Married?: yes
60. Careers in Mind: drug rep
61. Where do you want to live: somewhere nice?
62. Car: jetta

__Which is Better With The The Sex You Are Attracted To___
63. Hair color: eh dark
64. Hair length: short, mediumish
65. Eye Color: green/blue
66. Measurments: whatever
67. Cute or Sexy: cute
68. Lips or Eyes: eyes
69. Hugs or Kisses: i love hugs more than anything
70. Short or Tall: um taller then me, but thats not hard
71. Easygoing or serious: just awesome
72. Romantic or Spontaneous: both
73. Fatty or Skinny: both? haha
74. Sensitive or Loud: both at small amounts
75. Hook-up or Relationship: relationship
76. Sweet or Caring: both...how can u separate them
77. Trouble Maker or Hesitant One: both

___Have you ever______
78. Kissed a Stranger: no
79. Hugged a stranger: yes
80. randomly talked to someone in a store: i love it
81. Ran Away From Home: i was always on a leash
82. Broken a bone: thanks mike heckathorne
83. Got an X-ray: a ton
84. Had a serious relationship: bah
85. Broken Someones Heart: i think so but he will never admitt it, asshole.
86. Broke Up With Someone: yes
87. Cried When Someone Died: of course
88. Cried At School: haha yea

___Do You Believe In___
89. God: yes
90. Miracles: sometimes
91. Love At First sight: bah
92. Ghosts: no
93. Aliens: not really
94. Soul Mates: yes
95. Heaven: yah
96. Hell: yah
97. Angels: yes
98. Kissing on The First Date: now...hell ya
99. Horoscopes: no

___Answer Truthfully___
100. Is There Someone You Want But You Know You Can't Have?oh god yes.

yeah so drama...grunt.
GAY ALL GAY!

i'd like to say nothing aka no drama has happened... but despite it all, and despite webber being crippled, its been the best 3/4 months of my life. i just want to say thank you to EVERYONE. thank you for being here when i needed you all the most. i love you ALL and hope that this school year, and the few long breaks brings us all closer. and with a friendship like ours im sure all that and more will be accomplished.

for now im just living life the way i want with awesome friends (old and new) to help along the way.

so yeah, been awhile.
first off i would liek to start off with how irene is amazing at dance. blew my mind sunday and how she is gone for 10 days and its only been 3 and i miss her HORRIBLY. dan also has been gone for like 4 and i miss him as well.

ive been hanging out with webber alot lately and and i like it that way. we discovered the chicken fry yesterday somehow managing to spill sauce and sprite all over like a domino effect in my badass car. good fucking times.

this girl at work got fired of something so im working pretty much everyday next week. rock on.

yeah school is soon. whoopty shit.

its almost 12 and its still 80 degrees, something is wrong with mother nature. that cat is wack.

yeah its been a good week. today went shopping and bought some outfit for the wedding, hot shit, thanks marina. mikes in town this week so hes a fun kid. web was out today, was a good thing. my cd player in my car is a piece of shit. thank god for mpr and rob.
ok im done.

so yesterday was irenes bday. we got her a build a bear, i love it.
i went to emilys with ashley.
we had so much fun, went to peek n peak or whatever goes 1st, and played glowing mini golf at like 11pm. it was amazing and i got a hole in one. we got up and em made the best waffles ever with homemade blueberry sauce. so good. went to Presque Isle, its so nice there. i loved it! after that we hit up some panera then it was homeward.came home, went to tonys, went to robins.






yeah sometimes its the little things that count and at the end of the night you can drive home smiling.

so i went on myspace today checkin out some peoples profiles i havent checked out in a while...still very aware and in touch with my last lj post. i came across a few people that just got so fucking gay! wow....all there comments on myspace were from one member of the opposit sex, im guessing a girl/boy friend and there, one after the other, day after day...OMG i love sooo much, i cant live without u, i love all the naughty times together...miss u, love u...BLAH BLAH EWWWW!!!!!!!!! JESUS CHRIST! theres one thing that i hate....needy annoying freaks. if u love soemone FINE, but dont b fucking gross and annoying...dont people know anything....another reason y i am the best girlfriend ever.

and that my friends....is what i have witnessed so far this rainy afternoon.

you know what. people are fucking wierd. like seriously some people have no life. not saying that i do or anything or that i havent done this but just right now it seems like everyone is just down. its like holy shit theres some crackwhore revolution going on. eevryone is infatuated with having a boy/girl friend. and again..NOT SAYING I WOULDNT LIKE ONE. but really come on now. im sick of everyone bringing everyone else down. u sit here and read lj and myspace blogs its like blah blah blah...complain complain complain. lets stop...rejuvinate on july 19th and think of everything more possitivly. i know i need a change like that. so here it is, my "new years'resolution i guess. im really sick of hereing o he doesnt understand me, and oh im gonna b alone for life....yeah yeah we have all said it. but ive been thinkin and u know what...whatever happens, happens. and when it happens, it happens. we cant sit around and complain and wait for nothing to happen. IT WILL. patience and a little determination and ACTION is all we need. im thinking this is the best idea ive ever had. yeah it is. so stop being girls....EVERYONE. thats my ranting and very well thought out decision for tonight.



a respectable thank you is in order...

so here i am back in the 724.
38 more days here. where is the summer going?
i went to kill devil hills OBX (hah) last week. good weather, savage tan, new hair cut. yeah it was awesome. the water was so warm and there were NO jelly fish, which made my time in the water more enjoyable. and no fucking sharks tried to bite me. damn things missin out, hah. i think webber fit in quite well, lots of cigarettes and they were FUCKIN CHEAP down there too...22 dollars for marlboros. and of course all the alocholic beverages needed to survive. there was a close to fight one night, it was scary (damn brothers). other than that it was damn nice to sit on the beach frome like 9 or 10-around 5. yeah beautiful.
we got home in record time saturday and went to marinas...well webbers (3days b4 surg-erly) party. she will be repaired on timmys bday, tuesday july 19th(speakin of that i need a present). it was a good party. of course i get retaerded drunk like always. then i came home and thought i had the worst hangover ever. turns out it was the damn easy mac i had saturday night. its expired...GOOD DAMN JOB FOOD LION FUCKS. yeah so ive been puking for 3 days.
i went to eckerd 8702 today to work and came home at 11. when u havent eaten for 3 days, shit hits the fan.

well suckers...i plan on going to see the willie wanka remake tomorrow night.
too bad its at the shit thearter. oh well i'll get in free.
connections my friends. connections.
and i suck at typing.
the end.

it was a good weekend.
im sad i didnt do anything about college and its too late now so i guess i have to go to sru.
o well i guess.
ummmm....

yeah everything is good.
the beach is in 4 days and then its webbers day before day of surgery party.
yay!

my family rocks.

i dont really have much to update.
i listen to bryan adams too much? thats a crime.
i went to mars to visit ashley. missed her. slept in a tent. interesting.
sharpsville carny is this week. hell yeah for dip n dots.

i hate how life is getting more and more frustrating as each day passes.
i just wanna apoligize to my friends. i know im kinnda a little freakishly insane right now. but after the beach where i can relax and chill for a week...and just think about a lot. i will be better...
12 days.

for a minute there...i lost myself.

pathetic